Eyeing New Worlds

This week's readings focused on very modern dilemmas of family. To begin a discussion on family, we must recognize some very important changes that have occurred within our own lifetime regarding the dynamics of American families. Not even as little as ten years ago would our culture have been as open as it has become to adding gay couples and their children to the definition of family, or allowing room for "stay at home dads" to be accepted. Our generation has truly been one of the first that has gotten to witness how a world can begin to alter its perception of things as ingrained into society as family. With that being said, however, there are still battles to face before the definition and dynamics of family become truly all-inclusive. And one of the most vital areas of change needs to focus around the accepted roles of fatherhood.

I grew up in what I would consider a feminist household; and that included my dad. Actually, my dad is one of the biggest activists I know when it comes to fighting for things on the feminist agenda. There is no question, in my mind, that female athletes in Minnesota would have less amazing opportunities, such as playing in the State Tournament at the Xcel Energy Center, had he not fought battles with the Minnesota State High School League regarding the inequality of treatment of male vs female athletes; and that is just one example. None-the-less, even with my dad's feminist influence, we are not a household completely free of the gender-dynamic influence of our society. When my sister and I were young, my mom was a stay at home mom. I guess I never really asked why it was her who chose to stay home versus my dad, but it would not be out of the question that my dad, like the men in Gerson's article, "felt too 'demoralized' to consider staying home." This more than likely wasn't because he felt as if my mom was incapable to work. It was instead because he felt it was his job to be the Alpha male: the one protecting and providing. It is my assumption that it is for this reason that he has to be the one who drives when the whole family is in the car together. He often reasons, "I don't want anyone else to have to take the responsibility of making sure this family is safe." My dad may be one in a million to me, but in reality his feelings aren't uncommon of fathers in our society.

So what are we to do in a nation where women are coming closer and closer to making up the majority of the workplace? To have a stay-at-home world that is all inclusive, as Gerson suggested, we need to "...prompt wider social acceptance of egalitarian households, bolstering the option to make such choices." This movement towards domestic equality demands an ability to overcome the obstacles to change social constraints (Gerson 328). Our culture must eventually come to recognize that fathers have a tremendous ability to be great role models for their sons and daughters, and for society in general, by taking up the mammoth job of stay-at-home dad. Not only do children benefit from their unique perception of alternate gender dynamics in this instance, but they also "develop a flexible approach to building their own lives." (Gerson 327) This is perhaps the greatest gift we can give the children of this nation...the idea that they can truly become what ever and who ever they want to be.

We are coming to a point where we are at least considering what this world could look like with all-inclusive parenthoods; meaning that society allows room for "stay-at-home dads" to be accepted and valued. But, we are not there yet. So today, it is still a vision we look to and consider, while some battle society's expectations and try to enter.