Screw you society. I am a REAL athlete. DEAL WITH IT.

Before writing this blog, I thought of this past week's subject, embodiment, like it was a cloud floating above my head; I knew it was there and it existed, but I felt unable to fully grasp it. The notion that society constructs gendered bodies in unhealthy, unrealistic, and disempowering ways was built by a wide variety of texts; from the one about Magic Johnson to the one about a dying anorexic young woman. And yet, I was stubborn and did not allow myself to see my reflection in any of them. You see, I thought of myself as a girl who had skipped the whole attempting to conform to society's expectations thing. And therefore I felt unable to relate and fully understand it. Unlike what seems to be 99% of young women my age, I really have never felt a need to eat less, lose weight, or go on some sort of diet. I mean, I would prefer any day to have the bulging biceps of a gymnast versus the upper arms of a runway model that are as tiny as my wrists. And I happen to love the quote, "Real girl's have six packs; other girls just drink them." (Even though I have a lot of ab exercises to do before I can claim owning a six pack!) But as I reflected on this truth, I came to realize that although I personally did not care about conforming to society, I did find myself becoming self conscious as a female athlete and wondering how me and my body could fit peacefully in this society.

Since the passage of Title IX in 1972, girl's participation in sports has increased tremendously. Today, female athletes make up only a little less than 50% of all athletes in the United States. And with this trend, you would think society (as it worships it male athletes) would at least modify itself to fit these females who are working to empower themselves through athletics. But sadly this is far from the case. Look no further than the fashion industry. Male models= athletic build. Female models= sticks with virtually no muscle (actually I would like to hypothesize that they have negative muscle mass. No joke, I think by their example this is possible).

By high school, it was clear that the fashion sector of our society hated me: I could not for the life of me find a pair of jeans that were the right waist, hip, thigh, and length all in one. Jeans apparently aren't made for the 3 million female high school athletes that live in America. Wait...no...I take that back. They ARE made for female athletes- but only the ones who fit society's definition of "female athleticism": having no fat and no muscle. But excuse me...what kind of real athlete has no fat and no muscle?! I think a female like this would break in half if a ball accidently hit her or she attempted to swing a tennis racket. Never-the-less, this is the expectation constructed by society for female athletes. Therefore, I, as a female athlete, am encouraged by society to hold a glass ceiling over my head. It is acceptable for me to work to become a "beautiful athlete" by slimming up; not a "good athlete" by bulking up. Society expects us to look good; not play good. Girls like myself must never believe in the opportunity to reach our best potential because God forbid we gain a little healthy fat or work hard for some muscle. Thus, it is acceptable for female athletes to be entirely unmotivated to increase their muscle mass and muscular endurance; and therefore we are encouraged to slam the door to the world filled with true female athletes: one's who refuse to give up on a dream just because society craves something else.

But when we refuse to slam the door, we as female athletes do not find ourselves alone. As a high schooler, I became self conscious about being an athlete with an athletic build. Why did I have to give up fashion (aka skinny jeans and the like) in order to be an athlete? Why did I enjoy EATING at lunch instead of sitting and gossiping about boys and make-up while pretending to nibble at my salad and obsessing over trying to get my body to become skin and bones? Why was I one of the only girls in the weight room after school? However, just in time, a couple role models of mine gave me the below ads from Nike. These images from a Nike Women's campaign ad can be both inspirational and empowering for young female athletes. They have the ability to teach girls that athleticism is a part of them that they should not let go of, and instead work hard with; no matter what society thinks or says about how their bodies should look. Every one of the ads speak to motivate female athletes to stand up and say, "Screw you society...I am a REAL athlete...deal with it."

green leaves and snow

Ok weird week, right? The leaves are still green. And it snowed. Doesn't seem right, does it? But maybe, against all odds, green leaves and snow can exist together. I will get to that later.

Ok, to recap, this weeks readings and discussion revolved around the discourses of privilege and patriarchy. There is no doubt that our society is a quintessence of a patriarchal society. Allan Johnson describes our system as one that "...[values] masculinity and maleness and [devalues] femininity and femaleness." We have standards of "...feminine beauty, masculine toughness...images of older men coupled with young women..." and call it "natural" when men are full of "aggression, competition, and dominance," and females of "cooperation and subordination." And if we as a class had any doubts about whether a strong patriarchal system was still in place in the United States, they came crashing down as 50 magazines were placed in front of us and not one stood out as un-patriarchal. Headlines that screamed to females "Hey you! We know how to make you look skinner, younger, and therefore more beautiful!" Pictures of men that couldn't have been less obvious in their idea of the fulfillment of ideal manhood: dominance, six packs, and independence.

Clearly, when it comes to the feminist agenda, we ideally would like to fight against the patriarchal system that is strongly in place in our society. And this week, we started formulating ideas of how we can go about fighting the system. One such idea, as discussed in class, was to not follow the path of least resistance. In other words, take the path less traveled or forge a new one. But, I am sitting here confused. LeAnn Womack sings, "Never settle for the path of resistance," but what if I like the path of least resistance? What I mean to say is that there are some things in our Patriarchal society that I might actually prefer to a non-patriarchal one. I mean, what if I like how guys sometimes find personal satisfaction in opening a door for me? Certainly, there were days of the past where I would find it rude and degrading if a guy opened a car door for me. I mean, honestly, I can open my own door. It took me awhile for me to realize that boys are fully aware that I am physically and mentally capable of opening a car door, but enjoy to open it for me anyway because they feel it is a way to show that they care. And besides self-sacrificing my ability to open a car door, what if I also sometimes find comfort in the fact that I have guys around me of whom I feel protected by? What if I take ease in the fact that I am not the one expected to fight-off the bad guys? What if I like being labeled a tom-boy and find it pretty amazing e that the females of my generation can get away with not fitting into the boundaries of femininity most of the time? Lastly, what if I find it pretty convenient that there isn't much, if any, pressure on me to become a specific something or live up to a legacy I was born into? What if I find it pretty awesome that I have the freedom to create my own legacy without it being compared to a relative of the past? Does this make me anti-feminist?

I know I would probably be answered with a resounding yes by many feminists for my question and ideas posed above, but for one second I needed to brutally honest. And here is why. I think I can exist as someone who both likes some things of patriarchal rule AND as a feminist. In fact, I am going to be cocky and say that I have the potential to be a stronger activist because of it. My ideas, interests, and thoughts do not exist in a black and white winter. Instead, they exist in this weird season that allows for green leaves and snow to dwell together. And maybe, just maybe, this season is part of the answer I was looking for earlier: perhaps it can help to explain how I can fit with all sorts of different ideas, beliefs, and viewpoints under the one umbrella of feminism.

"Green Leaves and Snowflakes" by Lindsey Weaver

getting out of a comfortlicious bubble

You know that annoying kid back from high school that would always, after getting back a text, go and argue with the teacher about a question that they thought they should have gotten more points on? Yea...hate to break it to you, but that was me. It may have not been worth it all of the time; I did cause myself some trouble as I destabilized some relationships with even my favorite teachers, but my arguments were always legit and I was always fighting for something I believed in. And because of that, I have ultimately never truly regretted being that kid; being an advocate for myself. Each teacher, in response to my challenge, handled their reaction differently. Some loved the game with me, and found it amusing when I would relentlessly try and find holes in their logic time and time again, and were eager to give me credit for at least trying. However, more often than not, teachers became immediately defensive and knew that they were the only ones that were right. They refused to open their minds to a different perspective and an alternate understanding. They were unwilling to recognize the possibility that there was not just one right answer. And, as was reinforced this week, this type of character does not just fit into my own personal stories and contexts. It is these type of people who, unfortunately, make up a large portion of American society- and humanity for that matter. It is these people, in the discussion of feminism, who narrow the ideas and goals of women's movements into an ideology that is one-size-fits-all; a one-size-fits-all that might as well be a size 0 women's skinny jeans that is expected to fit all of humanity.

The Women's Movement, historically, on a public level, has focused dominantly on fighting for the rights and attention to issues important to white, high to middle class women: issues such as equal pay for equal work, academic opportunities, and rights to make their own decisions for their own bodies. And, although issues like these are often important to the feminist circle that exists outside of the white upper and middle class realm, other issues important to minority women and even men have more than often been ignored or shoved to the side. Kate Shanley, a woman writing on the feminism experience of Indian women, works to expose the fact that feminism in not a "single, well-defined organization." Instead, in order to be successful, we must open our minds to the struggles of other women in the world, and what gender fairness means in contexts outside our own lens. As Shanley puts it, "...rather than seeing differences...we must practice a politics that allows for diversity in cultural identity...Feminism becomes an incredible powerful term when it incorporates diversity."

But what does "incorporating diversity" mean in terms of feminism? Easier said than done, right? In her article about Third World feminists, Uma Narayan, suggests that we must become aware of "the boundaries of [our] vision." In other words, I myself, as a human who grew up in a community of people who shared the same values, ideas, and experiences must recognize that I am extremely limited in my perspective. This self-account of myself allows me, as Narayan put it, "to see, with humility, and gratitude, and pain, how much one has been shaped by one's context".

But what happens next? I think this, for me, is something I have been struggling with as a sophomore Luther student. How can the context in which I am living make room for influences that live outside of it? How can I escape the power of the American media, the monopoly of people at Luther who grew up in my culture, and the influence in shaping my ideas ran by the demographically un-diversified group of people that exist in my day to day life? I don't know the full answer of that question yet. But through time I have come to recognize that I am not helpless: there are things that exist in my bubble that allow me to work on popping it. Things such as keeping an extremely open mind to all ideas and knowing that my ideas and values are not everyone's. And with this, we must be careful to recognize that there are people out there who have, not without difficulty, learned to become advocates for themselves, but there are also others who are not ready to move against the flow. Above all this, I have learned to seize opportunities, no matter how big or small, as they come to get out of my cultural "comfortlicious" bubble, such as signing up for a J-Term class in South Africa.

Although I don't have all the answers, I do know this: I have the desire to work to not become one of those teachers that I referred to in the beginning. I never want to be someone who refuses to open their mind to a different perspective and an alternate understanding; someone who is unwilling to recognize the possibility that there is not just one right answer.

Equality vs Fairness

Feminist. The F word. Somehow, no matter how much women have accomplished, feminist ideals seem to be an elephant in the room. An elephant whose head, after both the 1st and 2nd wave of the on going women's movement, keeps getting closer and closer to that glass ceiling right above it. But really, what is there not to celebrate about the struggles and accomplishments for the fight for feminist ideals? After all, at its most basic level, feminism is simply the act of striving for justice both as a woman individually and for women as a whole; big acts or small.

As we covered the broad topic of the history of feminism and the Women's Movement in the United States this week, I couldn't help but wander back to an important lesson that came out of the 2nd wave of the Women's Movement: there is no right or clear definition of women's justice. Feminism and women's justice means array of different things to an array to different people. Take the sports realm for example: you might have one girl who defines justice in her world as the opportunity to play on the football team. But, then you have another girl who doesn't think this is right because it would mean that she would have to compete with boys who wanted to come out for the volleyball team. Therefore, by this, we can see that it is possible to articulate at least two definitions of justice when it comes to the Women's Movement: equality and fairness.

On the surface, equality and fairness may hold the same connotations. I mean, when you were five what did you whine when your mom gave your brother more M&Ms than you (as in unequal amounts)? "But Mommmmm! That's Not Fair!" Am I right? But, in terms of feminism, we can come to understand that fairness and equality are far from one in the same. Feminists who push for equality can be defined as people who are in the mind-set that women's justice is possible only when differences between men and women are erased by laws and societal expectations that allow men and women to be treated differently. On the plus side, these feminists can be a powerful force when it comes to creating a world without a gender disparity in pay. However, with full equality in mind, it is hard to argue on the woman's side for some of the ideal's of feminism. For instance, post-birth rights in terms time allowed and paid for away from the office is not an equality issue. And, like the girl imagined above, wanting the opportunity to try out for the football team cannot be turned into an equality issue or else there is the possibility of all sports being dominated by boys/men and losing female participation.

In contrast to the feminist ideal of equality, feminists who push for fairness recognize that there, inborn to partly our biological make-up and partly to our society, differences between men and women. These feminists argue that the gendered world will only reach justice when women are somehow compensated for these differences. These feminists, especially powerful in the 2nd wave movement, helped to strengthen the argument for rights for pregnant women, the need for childcare centers, and the right to control their own bodies. Also, people who idealize this concept of feminism were most likely behind the formulation of scholarships for women pursuing a higher education that still persist today for areas of study that remain to be somewhat male-dominated such as engineering and physics.

Even though both equality and fairness ideals have helped feminists of Women's Movements to push towards gendered justice, it is important to recognize that neither of these two approaches are entirely satisfactory. Neither can answer fully what lies behind women’s successes and failures in striving for women’s justice. But besides their failures, the fairness and equality ideals in the realm of women's justice do have some important and powerful commonalities. For instance, both, in essence, strive to remove patriarchy, or the rule of men over social, economic, and political power in society. It is in this that they both confront the privileges of men and hold the belief that women’s justice can only be reached when women are viewed as independent beings instead of “simply derivatives of their relationships to men," as feminist Lynne Ford puts it. For, to end, this fight is the BIG one- it was this one that sparked the momentum for the Women's Movement that continues on to this day.

The words of my reflection this week are simple: equality does not equal fairness. However, the image that I am using to represent that idea is far from strait forward in its meaning. And, with that I think I will have a little fun this Thursday night and leave it open for interruption :)

Freedom and Others

This weeks readings focused on a 21st century controversy: the meanings and perceived symbolism of the female veil or body covering. Before reading the works picked for this week, I had not consciously thought much about the feelings and thoughts that the veil stirred in me as a person emerged in American culture. But, after having time to consciously reflect on my previous knowledge and feelings of and for the veil, I have realized that I was very much consumed and blindsided by the Western's perception of it. However, after the readings and discussions of this weeks class, I have come to understand that the ideas and discussion surrounding the veil, contrary to what our society may suggest, is not monolithic. Instead, there is a much broader and much more fairer thinking and focus in terms of what the veil means and symbolizes. To access this, we must put the people in which the veil is part of personal daily life ahead of the brainwashing and stereotypical construction the media does a good job of doing.

Perhaps the most powerful image in terms of what Westerners think of the veil involves it's connection to Islam. As author Martha Wand pointed out, "Many Westerners believe that, Islam is a monolithic, omnipresent force whose purpose is to lock up women" (Islamic Middle East: Veiled Separations 149). However, when we close our own cultural lens and open our ears to the people who experience female covering day in and day out, we come to understand that this is not the case. Instead, women have immense differences and motivations for wearing the veil, few of which include a feeling of submission. For instance, for some women, the burqua enhances: "...the burqua beautifies in a spiritual sense...Like a jewel, [the burqua] adds to what is already there. No matter how beautiful the woman, it cannot fail to make her even more so." Other women feel that covering themselves is a form of self expression in the sense it shows the importance of their faith and religion. As Gabriel Arkles put it, "Walking in [a] community as an out Muslim was an act of defiance...I loved making that statement" (The Scarf 249). These two reasonings are only two of many motivations of women to wear a body covering. Never the less, by these two examples it is clear that it is quite ignorant to think that a female body covering is an object of submissiveness and oppression, no matter what American culture may push us to believe.

This leads to the question of how American culture, and especially the American media have led us to believe what we do about both the veil, and Middle Eastern people in general. First, we must recognize the role of the public realm. Well respected public leaders of aided to creating the idea that Muslim men and women are "other," or un-normal. For example, Cherie Bush (Former Prime Minister Tony Blair's wife) more than once spoke of the need of the "we" (the west) to help "them" (the women of the Middle East) free a female spirit and give women a voice. In other words, "'We' women in the West are defined in contrast to the oppression that Afghan women suffer," says the book Muslim Women in America.

In addition to public actors, the American media mainly, has especially been powerful in separation Arab and Muslims for the norm. The media loves showing images of women going to the polling stations covered from head to foot in their niquab. By showing these, they, from what I perceive, aim to ask, "Isn't it odd that these female objects are allowed to actually vote?" Another example of the media's influence over our perception of Middle Eastern peoples is their choosing of photographs to represent their Middle Eastern stories. According to Muslim Women in America, conflict in the Middle East stories almost always feature a picture of an Arab males (31). In addition, studys say that when images of Muslim women are featured in news print, the women are almost always in a niquab and are commonly unnamed. This, according to the author, reinforces "the anonymity (and invisibility) attributed by the veil" (31).

For my reflection this week, I chose to make an art piece that related to the controversy to answer the question, "What is freedom?" in the context in which we studied it. On the left hand side is the Afghanistan Miss Universe contender in her bikini who was praised by Westerners for her "free-spirit" and for representing the "new Middle Eastern woman." Also, there is a quote from Mattel, manufacturer and creator of Barbie that, with out saying it, condemns Iraq for their 'active reinforcement in the submissiveness of women'. On the other side, I have reflected on the inside perspective to the Muslim veil that I have gained this week by my spotlighting my favorite quote of the week that was in response to Miss Afghanistan's choice to step out in her bikini, and with this I will leave you with. Have a good weekend! I'll try and bring back some sunshine from California when I come back Sunday!

Habiba Sorabi's quote in case you can't read it from my artwork:

"Appearing naked before a camera or television is not women's freedom but in my opinion is to entertain men."

Live Outside the Know

One of my favorite high school teacher's favorite sayings was "You don't know what you don't know." I think this saying is especially prevalent in reflecting on this past week's texts. Too often, I find myself wondering what the other side of the stories are, or what stories I am blinded from entirely. These past week's readings forced me to take off my cultural lens and focus in on subjects that are both ignored and not accepted by society: intersexuality and transgender. Reading and discussing both greatly aided in helping to expand my understanding of how sex, gender, and society relate with each other, and also helped to widen my perception of diversity in sex and gender overall.

Last week, our class came to understand that sex and gender are not one in the same. Instead, while sex is a biological tribute, gender is not natural, and is something that is almost purely constructed by society and one's personal experiences. Therefore, although sex may contribute to the way society perceives one's gender, female does not equal woman and male does not equal man. This point was reinforced this week through a gender topic I had not considered: transgender. In her article "Beards, Breasts, and Bodies," Raine Dozier writes that many female to male transgendered adults she extensively studied experienced a shift in the way they are treated once they became a male. For instance, one of Dozier's subjects shared that, since becoming a man, he is receiving more attention when speaking. Instead of being considered an outspoken women, he feels that he is viewed as a wise man with thoughtful opinions. (Gendered Bodies 146). In addition, another shared that he had work to change his behavior after he transitioned because "skills that [were] needed to survive as a butch woman...made [him] look like a really obnoxious guy" (146). By this, we can see that society demands a performance based on one's physically perceived sexual identity of either femininity or masculinity. In other words, society's understanding and perception of a person's behavior is dependent on their perceived sex. As a result, it is clear by these examples that sex does not equal gender. However, we can go beyond that and conclude that sex and gender DO have a relationship. As Dozier concluded in the final paragraph of her article, "Sex is a crucial aspect of gender...the gendered meaning of a person's behavior is based on sex attribution" (148).

Although sex, as in male and female, has come to be understood as the "natural" when recognizing the difference between sex and gender, we were presented with opposition to this notion through this week's study of intersexuals. Intersexuals, people having both male and female anatomical characteristics and genes, show us that sex is not always black and white and gender doesn't have to conform to society's expectations. Since, by definition of their sex, they are both female and male, some intersexed activists have worked to destabilize the overbearing relationship of sex and gender made by society. For instance, some have chosen to live in contrast to the gender role expected of them by society. After living like this, one such activist points out that ""I am...a person that doesn't have to conform because in my very DNA I don't agree with the societal norm...It's been a really freeing experience. I'm a lot happier" (Lorber and Moore 153). Perhaps we can take away from this that just because society demands a genderized role for us, we aren't forced to live in that. The possibility for being truly happy lies in living beyond the boundaries of gender as created by society. As said by an intersexual named Tiger, "No matter what you think of how I look or how I speak, no matter what I've done to fit into this world, I am not male or I am not female. And probably neither are you" (153).

For my reflection this week, I chose to make a photo/text collage on a watercolor painted design. In case it is hard for you to read the words on the collage here is what it says:

Dear Society...

• I like pink
• I like dresses
• I watch "chick-flics"
• I scream around bugs
• Flowers are pretty

DOES THIS MAKE ME GIRL?

• My favorite movie is 300
• I love lifting weights
• I hate playing with dolls
• I wish I could play football
• I like being muddy
• I don't often cry
• I love winning...I HATE losing

DOES THIS MAKE ME BOY?

This piece of work was mainly in response to the definition of "Gender Identity Disorder" we briefly covered in class, as well as thoughts that were spurred as I discovered the stories of intersexuals and transgenders and came to understand a new way of seeing the construction of gender.