Screw you society. I am a REAL athlete. DEAL WITH IT.

Before writing this blog, I thought of this past week's subject, embodiment, like it was a cloud floating above my head; I knew it was there and it existed, but I felt unable to fully grasp it. The notion that society constructs gendered bodies in unhealthy, unrealistic, and disempowering ways was built by a wide variety of texts; from the one about Magic Johnson to the one about a dying anorexic young woman. And yet, I was stubborn and did not allow myself to see my reflection in any of them. You see, I thought of myself as a girl who had skipped the whole attempting to conform to society's expectations thing. And therefore I felt unable to relate and fully understand it. Unlike what seems to be 99% of young women my age, I really have never felt a need to eat less, lose weight, or go on some sort of diet. I mean, I would prefer any day to have the bulging biceps of a gymnast versus the upper arms of a runway model that are as tiny as my wrists. And I happen to love the quote, "Real girl's have six packs; other girls just drink them." (Even though I have a lot of ab exercises to do before I can claim owning a six pack!) But as I reflected on this truth, I came to realize that although I personally did not care about conforming to society, I did find myself becoming self conscious as a female athlete and wondering how me and my body could fit peacefully in this society.

Since the passage of Title IX in 1972, girl's participation in sports has increased tremendously. Today, female athletes make up only a little less than 50% of all athletes in the United States. And with this trend, you would think society (as it worships it male athletes) would at least modify itself to fit these females who are working to empower themselves through athletics. But sadly this is far from the case. Look no further than the fashion industry. Male models= athletic build. Female models= sticks with virtually no muscle (actually I would like to hypothesize that they have negative muscle mass. No joke, I think by their example this is possible).

By high school, it was clear that the fashion sector of our society hated me: I could not for the life of me find a pair of jeans that were the right waist, hip, thigh, and length all in one. Jeans apparently aren't made for the 3 million female high school athletes that live in America. Wait...no...I take that back. They ARE made for female athletes- but only the ones who fit society's definition of "female athleticism": having no fat and no muscle. But excuse me...what kind of real athlete has no fat and no muscle?! I think a female like this would break in half if a ball accidently hit her or she attempted to swing a tennis racket. Never-the-less, this is the expectation constructed by society for female athletes. Therefore, I, as a female athlete, am encouraged by society to hold a glass ceiling over my head. It is acceptable for me to work to become a "beautiful athlete" by slimming up; not a "good athlete" by bulking up. Society expects us to look good; not play good. Girls like myself must never believe in the opportunity to reach our best potential because God forbid we gain a little healthy fat or work hard for some muscle. Thus, it is acceptable for female athletes to be entirely unmotivated to increase their muscle mass and muscular endurance; and therefore we are encouraged to slam the door to the world filled with true female athletes: one's who refuse to give up on a dream just because society craves something else.

But when we refuse to slam the door, we as female athletes do not find ourselves alone. As a high schooler, I became self conscious about being an athlete with an athletic build. Why did I have to give up fashion (aka skinny jeans and the like) in order to be an athlete? Why did I enjoy EATING at lunch instead of sitting and gossiping about boys and make-up while pretending to nibble at my salad and obsessing over trying to get my body to become skin and bones? Why was I one of the only girls in the weight room after school? However, just in time, a couple role models of mine gave me the below ads from Nike. These images from a Nike Women's campaign ad can be both inspirational and empowering for young female athletes. They have the ability to teach girls that athleticism is a part of them that they should not let go of, and instead work hard with; no matter what society thinks or says about how their bodies should look. Every one of the ads speak to motivate female athletes to stand up and say, "Screw you society...I am a REAL athlete...deal with it."

green leaves and snow

Ok weird week, right? The leaves are still green. And it snowed. Doesn't seem right, does it? But maybe, against all odds, green leaves and snow can exist together. I will get to that later.

Ok, to recap, this weeks readings and discussion revolved around the discourses of privilege and patriarchy. There is no doubt that our society is a quintessence of a patriarchal society. Allan Johnson describes our system as one that "...[values] masculinity and maleness and [devalues] femininity and femaleness." We have standards of "...feminine beauty, masculine toughness...images of older men coupled with young women..." and call it "natural" when men are full of "aggression, competition, and dominance," and females of "cooperation and subordination." And if we as a class had any doubts about whether a strong patriarchal system was still in place in the United States, they came crashing down as 50 magazines were placed in front of us and not one stood out as un-patriarchal. Headlines that screamed to females "Hey you! We know how to make you look skinner, younger, and therefore more beautiful!" Pictures of men that couldn't have been less obvious in their idea of the fulfillment of ideal manhood: dominance, six packs, and independence.

Clearly, when it comes to the feminist agenda, we ideally would like to fight against the patriarchal system that is strongly in place in our society. And this week, we started formulating ideas of how we can go about fighting the system. One such idea, as discussed in class, was to not follow the path of least resistance. In other words, take the path less traveled or forge a new one. But, I am sitting here confused. LeAnn Womack sings, "Never settle for the path of resistance," but what if I like the path of least resistance? What I mean to say is that there are some things in our Patriarchal society that I might actually prefer to a non-patriarchal one. I mean, what if I like how guys sometimes find personal satisfaction in opening a door for me? Certainly, there were days of the past where I would find it rude and degrading if a guy opened a car door for me. I mean, honestly, I can open my own door. It took me awhile for me to realize that boys are fully aware that I am physically and mentally capable of opening a car door, but enjoy to open it for me anyway because they feel it is a way to show that they care. And besides self-sacrificing my ability to open a car door, what if I also sometimes find comfort in the fact that I have guys around me of whom I feel protected by? What if I take ease in the fact that I am not the one expected to fight-off the bad guys? What if I like being labeled a tom-boy and find it pretty amazing e that the females of my generation can get away with not fitting into the boundaries of femininity most of the time? Lastly, what if I find it pretty convenient that there isn't much, if any, pressure on me to become a specific something or live up to a legacy I was born into? What if I find it pretty awesome that I have the freedom to create my own legacy without it being compared to a relative of the past? Does this make me anti-feminist?

I know I would probably be answered with a resounding yes by many feminists for my question and ideas posed above, but for one second I needed to brutally honest. And here is why. I think I can exist as someone who both likes some things of patriarchal rule AND as a feminist. In fact, I am going to be cocky and say that I have the potential to be a stronger activist because of it. My ideas, interests, and thoughts do not exist in a black and white winter. Instead, they exist in this weird season that allows for green leaves and snow to dwell together. And maybe, just maybe, this season is part of the answer I was looking for earlier: perhaps it can help to explain how I can fit with all sorts of different ideas, beliefs, and viewpoints under the one umbrella of feminism.

"Green Leaves and Snowflakes" by Lindsey Weaver

getting out of a comfortlicious bubble

You know that annoying kid back from high school that would always, after getting back a text, go and argue with the teacher about a question that they thought they should have gotten more points on? Yea...hate to break it to you, but that was me. It may have not been worth it all of the time; I did cause myself some trouble as I destabilized some relationships with even my favorite teachers, but my arguments were always legit and I was always fighting for something I believed in. And because of that, I have ultimately never truly regretted being that kid; being an advocate for myself. Each teacher, in response to my challenge, handled their reaction differently. Some loved the game with me, and found it amusing when I would relentlessly try and find holes in their logic time and time again, and were eager to give me credit for at least trying. However, more often than not, teachers became immediately defensive and knew that they were the only ones that were right. They refused to open their minds to a different perspective and an alternate understanding. They were unwilling to recognize the possibility that there was not just one right answer. And, as was reinforced this week, this type of character does not just fit into my own personal stories and contexts. It is these type of people who, unfortunately, make up a large portion of American society- and humanity for that matter. It is these people, in the discussion of feminism, who narrow the ideas and goals of women's movements into an ideology that is one-size-fits-all; a one-size-fits-all that might as well be a size 0 women's skinny jeans that is expected to fit all of humanity.

The Women's Movement, historically, on a public level, has focused dominantly on fighting for the rights and attention to issues important to white, high to middle class women: issues such as equal pay for equal work, academic opportunities, and rights to make their own decisions for their own bodies. And, although issues like these are often important to the feminist circle that exists outside of the white upper and middle class realm, other issues important to minority women and even men have more than often been ignored or shoved to the side. Kate Shanley, a woman writing on the feminism experience of Indian women, works to expose the fact that feminism in not a "single, well-defined organization." Instead, in order to be successful, we must open our minds to the struggles of other women in the world, and what gender fairness means in contexts outside our own lens. As Shanley puts it, "...rather than seeing differences...we must practice a politics that allows for diversity in cultural identity...Feminism becomes an incredible powerful term when it incorporates diversity."

But what does "incorporating diversity" mean in terms of feminism? Easier said than done, right? In her article about Third World feminists, Uma Narayan, suggests that we must become aware of "the boundaries of [our] vision." In other words, I myself, as a human who grew up in a community of people who shared the same values, ideas, and experiences must recognize that I am extremely limited in my perspective. This self-account of myself allows me, as Narayan put it, "to see, with humility, and gratitude, and pain, how much one has been shaped by one's context".

But what happens next? I think this, for me, is something I have been struggling with as a sophomore Luther student. How can the context in which I am living make room for influences that live outside of it? How can I escape the power of the American media, the monopoly of people at Luther who grew up in my culture, and the influence in shaping my ideas ran by the demographically un-diversified group of people that exist in my day to day life? I don't know the full answer of that question yet. But through time I have come to recognize that I am not helpless: there are things that exist in my bubble that allow me to work on popping it. Things such as keeping an extremely open mind to all ideas and knowing that my ideas and values are not everyone's. And with this, we must be careful to recognize that there are people out there who have, not without difficulty, learned to become advocates for themselves, but there are also others who are not ready to move against the flow. Above all this, I have learned to seize opportunities, no matter how big or small, as they come to get out of my cultural "comfortlicious" bubble, such as signing up for a J-Term class in South Africa.

Although I don't have all the answers, I do know this: I have the desire to work to not become one of those teachers that I referred to in the beginning. I never want to be someone who refuses to open their mind to a different perspective and an alternate understanding; someone who is unwilling to recognize the possibility that there is not just one right answer.